Time to get over America's victim mentality

By Gideon Oakes

April 17, 2007 | I've got a painful truth to tell: America has lost its mind. As a society, we have become so concentrated on ourselves that we have forgotten that anybody else exists.

That is, until those people do something that offends us. Uh oh, hold everything! Now we've got problems.

"Hey, that guy just made me feel bad. He deserves to lose everything."

Unfortunately, this is what it has come to in America. We have a victim mentality that tells us we are being picked upon. The big bad world is out to get us, and nothing will convince us otherwise. In fact, it's "uncool" to not have a victim mentality. Obviously, if you look around and don't find anything to complain about, you are probably the problem.

Never have I come to understand this more clearly than in taking a certain class this semester. This particular class is designed to teach its pupils about the problems of society, specifically in the media. We go to class, the teacher tells us how bad the world is, we regurgitate the information, we get our "A." Simple, yes, but also very telling of how we are being socially cultivated into this victim mentality.

So what, exactly, is this mentality? Sit down and listen to what people are saying day to day, and you'll hear a number of good examples.

"Gas prices are too high. Evil capitalists are to blame!"

"He mooned me. That's sexual harassment, and I'm suing!"

"I can't fit into my pants. McDonald's, you didn't warn me! Of course I didn't know that Super-Sizing my fries would do the same to me!"

"People are shooting other people. Gun makers must be held responsible!"

"I'm getting odd looks from strangers. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the Che Guevara T-shirt and 14 pairs of earrings I'm wearing. Why do they hate me? I hope my psychiatrist has an opening this week!"

"Comedians are using offensive terms in their acts. Give us their heads!"

Let me stop before I get called racist, sexist, homophobic, discriminatory or just generally insensitive. Take note that this article is not meant to excuse those who offend. It's not about taking sides in any specific event or person.

If you're asking yourself, "So what?" you're on a logical track. Really, what does it hurt to have a nation of whiners and complainers? Beyond making us appear weak and juvenile, its immediate effects aren't a matter of life and death, right?

Wrong. One must only look at the recent Duke lacrosse scandal to find a life and death effect of victim mentality. In this case, the North Carolina State Bar has accused District Attorney Mike Nifong of failing to follow professional rules of conduct and rushing to build a case against the three players without verifying the accuser's allegations.

Now, why did prosecutor Nifong do this? I submit that his actions have less to do with being a sloppy investigator, and have more to do with society's expectation that, like a cranky customer, the victim is always right. We have completely forgotten the basic tenet of American justice, that defendants are innocent until proved guilty. If you want to know the effect this has, just ask Reade Seligmann, David Evans and Collin Finnerty how their lives have changed since being charged with rape more than a year ago. This example of good-justice-gone-bad is frightening to anyone with a sense of fairness and decency.

For the sake of brevity, I won't get into what I perceive is the cause of America's victim mentality. Suffice it to say that the cause is far outshined by the effects. What is important, however, is that we learn a good lesson from events occurring in popular media right now, and next time we open our mouths to complain, take a good, hard look at ourselves before pointing our fingers.

I leave you with words from Don Henley of Eagles fame:

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin' "Don't blame me"
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma's too thin; your daddy's too fat
Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

-- Get Over It by the Eagles

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