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Planning a wedding during finals
By Megan Wiseman
Stress is a key element to the college
experience. With studying, working, friends, dating
and eventually finals, it's no wonder why college can
seem daunting. As if the average college student doesn't
have enough to worry about, some students choose to
add more chaos to the mix by planning a wedding while
still in school.
"I have no motivation," said
Ashley Wilkey, 23. "Most students lose motivation towards
the end of the year; try adding getting married to that.
I don't want to study, I don't want to go to class;
all I want to do is worry about planning my wedding
with my fiancé."
Wikley's original plans were to move
home to St. George for the summer and then attend Utah
Valley University next fall so she could finish up in
her dental hygienist program. That all changed when
things started to get serious with her fiancé and fellow
Utah State student, Matt Parker.
"It was either him or my career,"
said Wilkey. "I wanted him so I changed my major and
now I'm staying up here."
The struggles did not end at a major
change for the future couple. Packer is going on a study
aboard that was previously planned, which will put him
in South America 11 days before the wedding is scheduled
to take place. Wilkey says that she will be doing most
of the planning on her own and will consult Packer on
the major decisions.
"I've told him that we don't
need to keep in contact every second," said Wilkey.
"As long as I know I'm the number one person in
his life right now, I don't need to talk to him constantly."
This summer Wilkey won't have only
her own wedding to worry about. Her roommate and long
time best friend, Mollie Jewkes, 23, is going through
the process of planning her wedding.
Jewkes will have her fiancé with
her this summer, however while she is attending school
in Logan, he resides in Nephi, making the wedding preparations
at bit difficult.
"I'm from St. George. My fiancé
isn't up here and I'm trying to plan my wedding,"
said Jewkes. "It makes things a little difficult."
Describing various parts of her wedding
and trying to communicate the vision of her big day
to her family and fiancé, Paul Sparry, are the biggest
set backs she said.
"I spend a lot of time on the
phone and there are a lot of miscommunications,"
said Jewkes. "How do you describe the exact version
of antique blue and how it looks on your vision of a
bridesmaid dress when you are talking over the phone?
It's impossible."
Jewkes said that sometimes she feels
like she could make decisions on her own, but her fiancé
wants to be a part of the process which drags the situation
out. She's grateful for a supportive fiancé, but having
to wait until each weekend so she can drive down and
meet up with him to make small decisions has become
somewhat tedious.
"I haven't gotten in any fights
with Paul," said Jewkes, "just little inconveniences.
This big stuff happens with my family. We are more on
separate pages and it's harder to understand what each
person is talking about."
Jewkes has been trying to keep things
on good terms with her family because she is hoping
for a day that can be focused on her family and won't
be rushed.
"We have taken certain steps
to make our day less chaotic so we can just relax and
focus on each other," said Jewkes. "We're
going to take our pictures the day before so we aren't
spending most our day in front of a camera."
Both girls are trying to get as much
done as possible before the wedding but are finding
out that planning most of the details are going to have
to wait until the first couple months of the summer
before their July 11, Wilkey, and June 30, Jewkes, weddings.
"I'm just glad school is ending,"
said Jewkes who is graduating this spring. "It's
going to be nice to just be completely done with school
so I don't have that element of stress anymore. I just
want to focus on my new life and my future with my husband."
Wilkey, who will still be in school
next fall, says that she thinks school will be easier
with married life.
"It's hard because all we want
to do is spend time together right now," said Wilkey.
"When were married we wont have that factor as
much because I know each night we'll come home to each
other."
Wilkey advises that even though it
can be stressful planning a wedding during school it's
important to spend time together and appreciate it.
"You're only engaged once so
why not enjoy it?" she said. "Just enjoy the
time before you get married. You'll never have it again.
Don't become to stressed out and let the wedding get
in the way of appreciating each other and the fact that
you are about to spend the rest of your lives with each
other."
Jewkes said that it's important to
realize that things are going to go how you want them.
"You can have your dreams and
in some cases you will get what you want," she
said, "but for the most part things don't go exactly
how you want them to. It's not worth ruining relationships
with your family and friends. I know girls who are still
living with the reputation of being a bridezilla even
though their wedding happened a long time ago. It's
not worth that image and the extra stress."
Even though school is already full
of plenty of stresses, it's possible to plan a wedding
and enjoy time with friends, family and fiancés. With
the right planning and enough support, wedding preparations
can be a stress that is looked back on as an enjoyable
experience that adds to the excitement of the actual
day.
AH
AH
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