finally graduating! Now that I know what I'm talking
about, allow me to share my lessons
By Jenn Pulham
December 15, 2006 | This weekend I will stand in a
long line of black robes waiting to be handed a piece
of paper. A piece of paper that symbolizes what I've
worked for the past four years. Sitting at the computer
this morning I realized that most of the lessons I've
learned in those years have come outside the classroom.
As a soon-to-be graduate I would say I've gained some
experience. Pretty much, I know what I'm talking about.
Lesson one: Nobody cares what you wear. When
I was a freshman I used to care what people thought
about the way I looked. I would do my hair in ways certain
to catch people's attention. Also, I wore some of the
stupidest outfits I've ever worn, the only exception
being, well, Halloween costumes. How sad. To all the
freshmen who have this problem, stop it. You just look
dumb. Now it's become common for me to go to school
wearing what I woke up in 10 minutes before. I get to
Lesson two: Those of you with weak bladders,
NEVER sit on someone else's bed when something funny
is happening. Sorry about that, Clint. I don't really
need to give a further explanation on that one, do I?
It's kind of common sense. Just don't do it.
Lesson three: This is Logan in December. It's
freaking freezing outside so all those of you who think
it's still a good idea to wear shorts and tank tops,
you can just stop. I promise you'll like yourself more
if you're just warm. Oh, and by the way, it gets worse.
Wait until February.
Lesson four: Good luck getting through college
without having at least one bad roommate. At this point,
I've had four. In fact, I live with one of them now.
Bad roommates come in many different varieties. The
kinds I've had so far include one who couldn't keep
her hands off everyone else's food, one home-schooled
freshman freak, and two self-centered drama queens.
I'd like to tell you I have an answer for this, but
I'm afraid it's a live and learn thing. Try and find
those that you get along with really well, and stick
with them. That way you can avoid living with the ones
who keep a bag of spaghetti under their bed... opened...
when you live in an old house. Yes, we did get mice.
Lesson five: Always separate your dirty laundry
from your clean laundry. It's easier that way, I promise.
Listen to this and you'll understand why. I used to
go running at the Fieldhouse every day. Well, I usually
wore the same exercise pants every day, meaning I'd
have to pull them out of the dirty laundry most of the
time to reuse. One day I was walking home after my run
and saw someone's underwear just sitting on the sidewalk.
Sick, I thought, who would leave their underwear just
sitting on the sidewalk? Later when I was walking up
to class I had an epiphany. Yep, you guessed it, they
were mine. They had fallen out of the pant leg of my
exercise pants. As it turns out, some of my friends
had seen the undies as well. That's just embarrassing.
Trust me and keep your dirty laundry where it's supposed
The lessons go on and on and unfortunately, you're
bound to learn at least a few of them the hard way,
maybe ones I haven't even mentioned. The best advice
I can give you is this: if you can, just go through
college with your eyes closed the whole time, you'll
miss out on a lot of the good stuff that way, but you'll
also miss out on the bad stuff. Do you really want to
see all that crap, anyway? I didn't think so.