Aggies, it's time to move on
December 3, 2007 | Four assignments, three after I turn
this one in, and two final exams left. The countdown
is on with two weeks left in my Aggie career.
Not that I haven't enjoyed my time here at Utah State.
Overall I have pleasant feelings when it comes to my
experience in Logan. I've had good professors, great
friends, and have learned a lot. I'll openly admit that
I love the spot where the sagebrush grows. However,
I know that the timing is right for my departure, and
I am anxious to move forward.
It's like when I finally decided that I had outgrown
my woobie. It's not that I suddenly felt like I was
too cool for my mucus-stained, mostly frayed, skeleton
of a blanket. I was in high school now, and it was time
to move on. Just like the woobie, there are many reasons
why I feel like it is time for me to move forward from
my days at Utah State University.
One reason for my urge to leave is that the number
of people on campus that I know is becoming more than
I am comfortable with. Not that I am anything close
to a social butterfly, but after three and a half years
of living in Logan, I am familiar with way too many
people. I'm constantly rearranging my route to classes
so that I don't have to pretend not to see the girl
from one of my 30 or so classes I've taken here, or
that kid from church that I can't remember his name,
or people that I used to work with, or people I randomly
see at Wal-Mart every once in awhile and then see on
campus and can't figure out where I know them from.
It's getting a little ridiculous. It seems wherever
I go I'll see someone I barely know out of the corner
of my eye and then the thought always comes, "well you
should just be friendly." Then the voice of reason tells
me that I barely know them, and so I should just put
my head down and not look up. Most the time I go with
the voice of reason, but sometimes I get confused and
just start smiling awkwardly at the ground.
I know that it must be time to leave, because I am
becoming increasingly and irritatingly aware of my surroundings.
Lately I've become very environmentally aware. Not that
I recycle or anything, but I've just been more keen
on noticing my ambiance. This has caused me to do things
like not cut corners over the grass because I don't
like to leave ugly brown spots all over campus, except
for that spot of grass where the Merrill Library used
to be that I like to pretend still holds the Merrill
Library and I'm just walking through walls. This new
practice of mine is making my treks to class seconds
longer than they used to take. It's pretty annoying.
I've also recently tried to cut down on my carbon
dioxide emissions, which makes breathing kind of difficult.
I've tried to do my part in solving our valley's water
shortage problems, but apparently not showering is an
unappreciated practice in Logan. I've also begun to
reduce and reuse, but to my dismay the reduction of
the deodorant that I use, and the reusing of socks without
washing them, has been the cause of some dirty looks
while walking the halls of the TSC.
I think that I've unfortunately become more self-aware
as well. College may have just made me a little more
mature than I was ready for. For example, I don't even
like to join into the hilariously juvenile chants in
the Spectrum anymore. I used to love the incredibly
well synchronized "air ball" chant the fans would use
to remind the opposing team's players of their past
blunders whenever they touched the ball. Now I'm so
self-conscious that I can't even enjoy a good "stupid!"
or "you suck!" chant. Growing up is tough on the fun
Because of this newfound awareness that cripples the
freedoms of ignorance I once enjoyed, I've decided that
it must be time for me to move on. In a short time I'll
be leaving for the greener grasses of Columbus, Ohio,
for graduate school, where I don't know anybody that
I need to pretend not to see, and I can hopefully lose
myself in buckeye chocolates in an attempt to forget
all about environmental and self awareness. I'm only
three more assignments and two finals away.