Late-night ruminations on making
Christmas out of thin air
December 12, 2008 | I don't know why I can't get it
together. I've had plenty of years in college (plenty
-- I'm 23 and still have two semesters to go). You'd
think I would have the system down.
But you think wrong. I am broke, I live paycheck to
paycheck (and that's with overdrafts), I sleep on a
mattress on the floor, and I'm starting to wonder if
I'll be the party responsible for ruining Christmas.
OK, that's a bit hyperbolic. But I do know I don't have
money for Christmas, and that is upsetting.
My job pays pretty well, but with rent and utility
payments (that I swear come every other day), tuition
payments (that scholarship is over, honey!), and general
living expenses, I am at a loss. Oh, and then there's
the hot water fixture in the shower, which I have to
turn on with pliers because it broke, and now the faucet
leaks constantly because I can't tighten the fixture
enough because I can't get a grip on the rusting nubbin
that once was gripped by a fixture. Dear Landlord:
This place is a hell hole. Everything is breaking, there
were termites, and someone did a painting job OVER the
wallpaper. I hope that wasn't you. Your wife deserves
better. But oh no, I can't ask the landlord to
fix the faucet because, of course, my rent payments
have been late for the past three months, and there's
probably no end in sight.
And then, of course, there's school, which for some
reason, I can't seem to really excel in. I'm not stupid.
I could get straight A's if I really wanted to. Is it
the morning classes? The fact that I have a lot of interests
but am not especially good at one thing? The fact that,
for the first time in my life, I succeeded in the dating
realm, which caused late nights for half the semester?
The fact that I have become so good at creepy Facebook
stalking? I do have a talent for that. I also have a
talent for chocolate-eating and cat-loving. If cat-loving
could save Christmas, I'd be in pretty good shape. I
could save, like, 20 Christmases one after another with
my perpetual love for my kitten. (Now, that is creepy.
Perhaps I won't be so successful in the dating realm,
I am not bad at art, though, so if the cat-love Christmas-save
doesn't work out, maybe for Christmas I will draw everyone
pictures, like I did when I was in second grade. I'd
lovingly sketch ladies in pretty dresses, landscapes,
or stuff from whatever stream of consciousness I had,
and I'd put it in a festive bag with a bow and place
it under the tree. You can imagine the magic people
felt when they received my beautiful drawings. OK, probably
not. Maybe it's been so long since I've gifted pictures
that my mom won't remember, and I can get away with
giving her a drawing of my cat and me.
Hey, it's worth a shot. Merry Christmas, Mom.