How to avoid insanity while planning a wedding

Editor's note: Marie MacKay filed this before Spring Break; by the time you read this, she will be well into married life.

By Marie MacKay

March 20, 2006 | I'm getting married in one day.

I know that may sound crazy to some of you but I'm 23 years old. I should have been married five years ago according to Utah standards.

So here I am, ready to tie the big knot, although getting to this point is a lot harder than I expected. Planning a wedding isn't a walk in the park; it's more like a walk through a dark forest infested with money-sucking caterers, florists, decorators and photographers.

Unlike many women my age, the details of my wedding weren't already decided in my head when I was 5 years old. I was thrown into the game a little unprepared. So I thought I would share a little advice of what I learned about planning for the most important day of your life.

Dive into your connections

Weddings, especially in Utah, can be very expensive -- too expensive if you ask me for something that is over in a matter of hours. Instead of finding a photographer online who can cost more than $2,000 just for the wedding day, ask around and you'll be surprised what kind of talents or resources your friend's friend has. You don't need a professional to make your invitations or decorate your reception. There are a lot of people out there who are willing to help for FREE.

Keep it simple

Gift favors at $20 apiece are not necessary for each guest at your luncheon, either are brides maid dresses for your five sisters and three best friends. Think of what is reasonably important like a cozy ceremony or a small luncheon and a reception at a nearby business. If you want to go all out and invite everyone you know, prepare yourself for a lot of extra work.

Attend a bridal show

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I got engaged, I had no idea how to plan a wedding. Who would have thought there were so many things to plan for? There are the flowers, the reception, the food, the engagements, the bridals, the dress, the colors, the luncheon, the honeymoon, the tuxes, the showers and the list goes on. Lucky for Utahns, there are about five million bridal shows in Utah, pretty much all year round. They give you a lot of good ideas without having to make any decisions, plus you might win some prizes.

Keep a budget

In the pretend world of weddings, everyone has thousands of dollars to throw around on just about everything. But most of us have a budget to stick to. So, before you buy anything, scout out the best prices, compare, decide and then write down every penny you spend. In addition, plan for at least $100 to $200 in overdraft. There will always be things you will forget, like a $50 wedding license.

Ask advice only from close friends and family

The more advice you ask for, the more people will be offended when you don't do what they told you. Your grandma is not the best person to ask for advice when planning a wedding. Heck, you shouldn't have to do what I tell you either. When you start asking your neighbor and your roommate and your cousins, trouble will start brewing.

Do what you and your fiancé want

Although everyone loves advice from family and friends, they shouldn't decide what will be going on at your wedding. Do what you want. Everyone else will get over it eventually.

Plan way in advance

Start planning for your wedding the day after you get engaged. Reception centers and churches get filled up pretty quick and you don't want to end up at the Chapel-O-Love in Vegas for the biggest day of your life.

Remember the ceremony is most important

Many times the reception, the luncheon and the honeymoon are put before the actual wedding ceremony. That shouldn't be the case. Take time to think about what you're doing. You're promising to spend the rest of your life with someone else. Make that the top priority and the rest will follow.

Relax

Enough said.

Think about after the wedding Where are you going to live? What's your job? How are you going to combine two different incomes? Are you going to have kids right away? Yeah, these are important questions we all need to answer. So put everything in order so that you and your spouse's first fight is not the cause of your last fight as a couple.

MS
MS