LDS couple, like many Utahns,
make their early marriage work
By Jennifer Taylor
May 12, 2008 | Michelle and Keven Bailey were going
out for a night on the town. Their agenda included dinner
and a movie and whatever else might catch their eye.
That was the plan until Keven asked his wife, "Are
you ready?" Michelle responded "Do I look
ready? I haven't even done my hair yet!" Then she
locked herself in the bathroom for the remaining portion
of the night. This is the biggest fight the Baileys
have ever had.
Keven had just come home from a mission in Canada
when the two met. He got home in April; they met in
June, were engaged in September and married in December.
This sounds pretty fast for some people, but not for
They met at the Cache Valley Fun Park on country western
swing night. Michelle knew one of Keven's friends from
an institute class they had together and from that connection
their two groups merged. Keven asked her to dance a
few times and sparks flew. At the end of the night Keven
still had not asked for her number so she left him with,
"You know where to find me." He called her the next
day and they began dating.
"It was never a factor of if we should get
married; it was more of a when should it happen," said
He also said it was really comfortable from day one
for them to talk about marriage. "It was a natural thing,"
he said, "as natural as that issue could be."
Michelle concurred whole-heartedly with Keven about
this matter. "I knew after the first date he was the
right one. Marriage never felt weird or uncomfortable
to talk about with him."
A few months later, on Sept. 16, Keven proposed on
the Mount Timpanogos Temple grounds. This was the temple
Michelle had always wanted to get married in. Her and
her father even had her parking space picked out and
on her wedding day her father went a few hours early
to save it for her.
According to the Census Bureau, the average age for
men to get married was 27 in 2005, and the average age
for women to get married was 25. According to BYU NewsNet,
the average age LDS males get married is 22 and the
average age LDS females get married is 21.
Some people think that getting married young will
ruin a marriage. Not with these two. They got married
when Michelle was 19 and Keven was 21. They've been
married six and a half years and are still going strong.
They have two children: Kaitlyn, 2, and Brycen who just
One of the most memorable times Keven has had with
his wife was when their daughter was born.
"It was then that we felt like we were a family,"
he said, "When you're just a couple, you don't feel
like a family."
He said he remembers when the hospital allowed just
the three of them to be together for an hour. He said
this feeling washed over me and it was "pretty cool."
Looking back Keven said he didn't think he would marry
young. He said, "I wanted to get two to three years
of school in before I married someone."
He said he wouldn't trade where his life is right
now, but it would have been a little easier if they
would have waited.
"I'm still trying to get school done six and
a half years later," he said.
Keven is a regional manager at Feature Films for Families.
He said he worked his way up from a telemarketing position.
He also said his full-time job is the reason it has
taken him so long to finish school. Upon completion
of school his degree will be in Sociology.
Michelle said she didn't think it would be any easier
if they waited to get married. She said she already
knew where her life was going and what she wanted to
do. When they got married she had already been accepted
into Nursing School. Currently, Michelle is a registered
nurse and works graveyards at Logan Regional Hospital
in the emergency room.
They both agreed their first month of marriage was
a little rocky. They said it was a huge adjustment having
a 24-hour companion. They also agreed they didn't think
marriage was going to be as hard as it was.
"After about two weeks I was like, ‘What did I just
do?' I liked my free time and it was weird having to
account to someone where you were going and when you'd
be back," said Keven.
They both agreed marriage took some time to get use
to, "But once you get the hang of it, it's not that
bad, it's actually kind of nice," said Keven.
They do have arguments every now and again. They said
most of their arguments these days are about time and
money. They also said none of their fights top the fight
mentioned earlier. Michelle said she's never been so
mad in her life, but said they worked through it together
and now, upon reflection, laugh about it.
The Baileys didn't get married because of religious
reasons. They said they met and it just felt right.
Keven said, "Even if I wasn't LDS I still would have
married Michelle, because I met who I met when I met
They agree that sometimes the LDS church pushes young
people to get married. The church puts a strong emphasis
on the family, and in turn, it encourages young adults
to get married and start a family.
According to True to the Faith, an LDS publication,
"Life's greatest joys are found in the family. Strong
family relationships require effort, but such effort
brings great happiness in this life and throughout eternity."
Sometimes LDS young adults get married so fast that
they get married for the wrong reasons. LDS people are
not supposed to engage in premarital sex, and sometimes
couples want to have sex so desperately they get married
to each other just so they can engage in sex without
any consequences. These marriages usually do not last.
The Baileys got married at the same time as some of
their friends. There were four couples getting married
around the same time and three of the couples, including
the Baileys, knew the fourth couple was getting married
for the wrong reasons. They ended up getting divorced
one and a half years later.
"It's sad when this happens. I can't imagine living
life knowing that's why I married my spouse," Michelle
said, "Love is based on friendship and you can't have
a relationship without love. If you rush into things
and don't think about them it can really mess up your
life. It's important to not only love your spouse or
significant other, but be friends too."
According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary
friendship is, "one attached to another by affection
or esteem." Love is defined as, "unselfish loyal and
benevolent concern for the good of another." Sometimes
young people get confused about love. They think they're
in love, but they're really in lust. Lust is, "a personal
inclination." The difference between the two is that
love is thoroughly unselfish and lust is completely
selfish. When young adults get married for the wrong
reasons, they're not in love, they're in complete lust.
Michelle had good, solid reasons for marrying Keven.
She said as she sat on Keven's lap, "We had so much
fun together; he treated me right and always kept me
laughing. He was everything I wanted in a guy and more."
When Keven was asked why he chose to marry Michelle,
a sly and mischievous look washed over his face and
said, "I'm still trying to figure that out."