Balancing cost of college and a wedding can keep students in the poorhouse

By Lisa Christensen

October 10, 2008 | Open the Hometown section of the Herald Journal on Sundays and you'll find its pages filled with wedding announcements. Some weeks are fuller than others, but scarcely a week goes by without at least two full pages bringing the good news that Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter, Sally, to Dave, son of Mr. and Mrs. Whatchamicallit.

This both a blessing and a curse of living in a college town. College students are thrust into an environment in which they are rubbing shoulders with members of the opposite sex in their general age group and class with similar values on education. Study groups and close co-ed apartment complexes further allow them to fraternize with each other. They might start to date each other. The pressure is on in a culture where younger marriages are not only accepted but, in many cases, expected. Soon, wedding bells are ringing despite him being 21 and her just 18, and having three long collegiate years to go. Just like that, the proverbial poor college student just got poorer.

Marriage is a beautiful thing that everyone wants, whether currently legal or not as is evidenced by the bitter struggles over gay marriage in states like California. But it isn't enough to just get everyone in one place to say the "I do's" -- weddings are a complete production with more parts than a Lego model. Besides the actual ceremony, the happy couple (and extended family and friends) might have a bachelor/bachelorette party, bridal shower, wedding breakfast and reception, with the option, also, of open houses or a house-warming party.

These festivities run a hefty $25,000 nationally but Utah couples average just half of that at $12,500, according to a Feb. 10, 2008, article in the Deseret Morning News. The article said about 25,000 couples in Utah marry annually, turning the weddings into a $250 million industry in Utah alone.

"As soon as you say 'wedding,' the price will double," the article quotes Wendi Cooper, a founder of an Ogden-based wedding planning company, as saying. "They know you're going to spend money. They're going to charge you for it."

We find a conflict of reality in the expectations of Utah couples to get married young, finish an education and host the celebration of the century . . . or at least the weekend. This will inevitably cause the young couple to saddle themselves with debt or extreme financial strain at the beginning of their marriage in the already stressful and expensive setting of college and starting careers.

But what are a bride and groom to do? School or no school, money or no money, the show must go on, right?

April Whatcott, sophomore at USU in elementary education, was down to mere hours before getting married Saturday. Whatcott got engaged in late June and didn't want to wait for the winter semester break to get married, so she and her fiancé decided on a mid-semester wedding. Understandably, neither she nor her fiancé is working this semester, as planning a wedding eats up pretty much every minute they have, she said. From Utah Valley, she said the average Provo bride spends $28,000 on her wedding. She's doing it for right around the low, low price of $5,500, which she is getting from a fund set up by her parents. This price doesn't count what his parents are paying for or the honeymoon, either. Even with such a cheap celebration, she said they've spent more than they could have for formalities and have had to say no to many traditional luxuries.

"You can go all-out on anything," she said.

Anne Shupe, sophomore at USU studying art, said she has budgeted $4,000 for her upcoming wedding in December but hopes to only spend between $2,500-3,000.

"I think how the money is spent really depends on what kind of reception you want, since 99 percent of the budget is for the reception and not the ceremony here in Utah," she said.

She and her fiancé, Gabriel, are planning a casual party in their home as opposed to a reception or other formal gathering, she said, and spending money on things they can keep after the big day, such as his suit and silk flowers.

"It is a very important day, but we don't want to splurge thousands and thousands of dollars on it," Shupe said. "The key to our budgeting right now, as well as for the future, is deciding on what is important to us and exercising a little thrift."

Whatcott said their wedding will be so inexpensive because they chose to skimp on such decadence as bridesmaids' dresses, a more expensive caterer, a fancier cake (according to the article, cakes can range from $150 to $2,500), more expensive announcements or a private reception hall. Instead, they chose to have the reception in a church house at no charge and are being married in the LDS temple, also with no charge besides the mandatory marriage license, which really helps, she said. Extravagance is unnecessary, she said.

"Either way, spending money or not, you end up with the same things: you are married, you have no money left over and you have pictures to capture the memories," Whatcott said. "In the end, it's not what money can buy that really makes the memories or the experience, it's how happy you are and the people support you and ultimately."

After the wedding, Whatcott said they will live on her education fund and loans until the semester break when they both hope to get jobs. It'll be tight, though, she acknowledges. Her meager situation just got worse.

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