HNC Home Page
News Business Arts & Life Sports Opinion Calendar Archive About Us
DIE-HARD AGGIE FANS: Students show their Aggie colors at the home game vs. Nevada. The Aggies came so close, but lost 31-28. Click Arts&Life for a link to photos. / Photo by Heather Routh

Today's word on journalism

Monday, October 22, 2007

Can't Scare the Old Gray Lady:

"Good journalism for an intelligent general audience is hard. And we’re really good at it. Taking on The Times is not as easy as waving a credit card and proclaiming yourself 'fair and balanced. . . .' We have every reason to feel confident that we can hold our own if [Rupert] Murdoch decides to build The Journal beyond its business-reader base. In all the Murdoch parlor-gaming, I don’t hear anyone suggesting that he would attempt to match the depth of our coverage in culture, science, education, health, religion, sports, lifestyle, etc., etc. Not to mention business coverage that even devout Journal readers find they can't afford to miss."

-- Bill Keller, editor, New York Times, on Murdoch's promised Wall Street Journal challenge to Times national dominance, Oct. 16, 2007


Clogged shower drains would go away, maybe, if women were bald

By Michael Sharp

September 21, 2007 | My drain is clogged again. I know that it is because as I showered this morning my inundated feet were starting to feel soggy by the time I hit the shampoo. By the time I was reaching for the towel the water was already up past my ankles.

Since I got married three months ago we have almost gone through a whole gallon of the "guaranteed to work" extra strength drain unclogger that we picked up from the Wal-Mart. Although a good deal of the blame for this pet peeve of mine can be credited to the sixty year old pipes snaking their way through the underground of our apartment, I can't help but feel like this problem would be ameliorated if I, and especially my wife, did not have hair.

The fact that girls have hair, and a whole lot more than boys (for the most part), is something that I am relearning now that I am living with a female again. Not that I mind. In fact I quite enjoy hair when it is on a girl's head, but off the head is when I start to have grief with it. Boys beware: It starts with little golden strands on your car seat and on your couch. Then as you get more serious you start noticing long hairs on your clothes and your cuddling blankets. An engagement is a time of hectic planning, taking a surplus amount of pictures, and learning how to spit hair out of your mouth without offending your fiancée. Then you get married and your apartment pretty much becomes one well hidden hair hangout where all your wife's curls can drape about the bed, bathroom, kitchen, and carpet.

I guess it's hard for me to figure out how I ever forgot about this quandary. I'm definitely no stranger to girl hair. I grew up in a household where seven females counting my mom also resided. Even from the early years of my life I was picking out my sister's entangled tresses out of combs and brushes before I could use them, snaking more drains than Mario and Louigi, plucking hair out of food as I tried to forget about the bacterial contamination I was eating, and cleaning up the bathroom counter, which was always covered in hair. Let me tell you, cleaning up hair is the worst. If you have ever tried picking up a hair and throwing it in the garbage, it is likely that you grabbed it, and as you tried to fling the hair off your hand you just ended up transferring it from your thumb to your index finger and then thumb again. So if it wasn't already bad enough that you have to touch the thing, you are forced with skin to hair contact until you are smart enough to grab it with a piece of toilet paper or something and then fling it in to the garbage. After eighteen years of this I finally moved out and lived in a relatively low hair situation with all boys for six years, until I decided to get married and live again with the hair.

Now I'm not suggesting that all girls started to sport the Sinead O'Connor look. A female's mane is one of god's most beautiful creations. I guess that it's true that you can't have your cake and eat it too. Or in my case, you can't have your cake and eat it without a long blonde hair in the middle of it.

I suppose this law is what prevents me from being able to stroke my fingers through the soft waves of my wife's beautiful hair and not come out of it with a fistful of hairball. Hopefully some day I'll be able to invent a giant hair sucker, that vacuums all the loose hairs off of a girl's head every morning before she loses them all in the shower. Until then, I suppose that as my wife lives with the horrid singing that accompanies my splashing through the clogged shower, (as well as my unique body odors, lack of cleanliness, use of the word, "playa," toothpaste gargling, and facial hair in the bathroom sink), I can deal with a little bit of girl hair.

But don't be surprised if you see a woman some time in the future with a large vacuum covering their scalp, it might just be my wife.



Copyright 1997-2007 Utah State University Department of Journalism & Communication, Logan UT 84322, (435) 797-3292
Best viewed 800 x 600.