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I love you, you love ... what?
By Britta
Anderson
September 16, 2008 | Almost all of us have experienced
this at one time or another. Someone prematurely tells
you that they love you, and then you're left trying
to figure out what to say. What do you do at this point?
The person has completely opened their heart up to you
before you've even had the chance to think about if
you still want to go on dates with him or her.
I was 15 the first time this happened to me. His name
was Kevin. We weren't even dating. We were walking around
just outside of my high school during our lunch break.
Suddenly he stopped, turned, and began gazing into my
eyes as if there was nothing else to look at. I knew
exactly what he was thinking. He was planning on kissing
me. I didn't want to kiss him, plain and simple.
It was then that he wrapped his arms around me and
pulled me in with his clammy hands. I was trying to
think of a way to resist when my mind went back to all
those Walker, Texas Ranger episodes I watched
with my dad when I was younger. I suddenly wanted to
grab him, throwing him over my shoulder, and then doing
some sort of kick to the face action once he was on
the ground. But I didn't know how to do any of that,
which kind of caused a problem.
It was when I was having this internal struggle that
he decided to go in for the kill. I instantly came up
with a new plan, one that didn't involve any roundhouse
kicking. I not-so-very discreetly turned my head and
curved it around to give him a hug, making it impossible
for his lips to come into contact with almost any part
of my face.
We just stood there for what felt like an eternity.
That was when he said it: "I love you."
My first thought was No, you don't! But I figured
that response would probably cause some hurt feelings.
o I just stood there. I kept thinking, trying to come
up with a suitable response, along with wondering how
on earth he figured this would be a good time to share
his sentiments, considering I had completely rejected
his offer for labial interaction only a few seconds
earlier.
Then I heard something. Someone said "I love…," but
it wasn't his voice. Upon further examination of the
moment, I realized that it was my voice. I was instantly
racking my brain, trying to come up with anything to
finish the sentence with other than "you." Then it came.
The most brilliant answer anyone could ask for. Four
letters, one syllable, of complete bliss that would
set me free from this painful moment. "Cake." It seemed
easy enough.
Then I put it all together. My response to his heartfelt
expression was "I love cake." To top it all off, I don't
even like cake.
I wish I could say this was my only awkward response
to the premature "I love you." The problem is, until
now, I never thought about sitting down and coming up
with something to say back. Something like "I like your
tie," or "Wow your hair sure smells nice tonight," would
have been so much more appropriate than any of my other
responses, like "Are you sure?" or "In Spanish that
would be 'te amo.'"
I've also talked with other people to see what they
thought would be the best response to the premature
soul sharing. Most everyone has said their response
would be, "I don't know exactly how I feel about you
just yet," and "this is moving a little fast." I guess
if you're all about being sensible and generic, this
is the way to go. Typically, being sensible in a relationship
is the best way to stay in a relationship.
But here's my point. When someone opens their heart
up to you and says the all too quick "I love you," I
suggest this: Be sensitive to their feelings by not
giving a dumb answer in response. Plan ahead. Make sure
that you are prepared for whatever may happen, just
like a boy scout. That, and "I love cake" is never an
appropriate response to something in a relationship.
Well, unless there is a situation where cake is directly
involved. And even then, it's important to actually
mean it.
NW
MS
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